Jacob Bethell and James Rew Got a 3/10 and England Has No Answer For This Mess

Alright, Emerald City, can we talk about what just went down across the pond? You gotta be kidding me! England just got absolutely walloped by New Zealand, a *staggering* 253-run defeat in the Second Test at The Oval! Seriously, 253 runs! It squares the series at 1-1, meaning we're heading to a decider at Trent Bridge, and you know those fans are gonna be on edge. This was largely a chastening Test for an "inexperienced" England side, with acting captain Joe Root having more appearances than the rest of the team combined. Talk about a tough gig!

Who Couldn't Even Get to a 4? This Is Brutal.

Let's just get to the ugly truth first, because some of these player ratings are just baffling, especially after a 253-run loss. Jacob Bethell, at 22 years old, snagged a 3 out of 10. He logged scores of nine and nought, after getting six and 14 at Lord's. The BBC even called out his "obvious rustiness" for the longer format, given his lack of red-ball cricket. He picked up some handy wickets with the ball, but honestly, questions are already swirling about if he's even suitable to bat at number three. Yikes. Then there's James Rew, also pulling a 3 out of 10 on his debut. He just looked totally out of his depth, even with a couple of promising knocks of 24 and 15. But dropped chances with the gloves? That shows his wicketkeeping still needs some serious polish. And speaking of low scores, Ben Duckett got a 4 out of 10. He looked "in good touch" with 36 off 25 balls but got barbecued by his opening pa

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rtner on a run out, then gave his wicket away cheaply. Jordan Cox didn't set the world alight either with scores of 27 and 25, netting him a 4. Even New Zealand had a quiet one from Devon Conway, who never got going and scored a 2 out of 10. Man, that stings.

Any Silver Linings in This Disaster?

Okay, it wasn't *all* doom and gloom, I guess. Jofra Archer, England's best player, put in work, scoring a 7 out of 10. He bowled some ferociously quick spells that genuinely unsettled New Zealand's batters and gave England a flicker of hope. He deserved more than five wickets, truly. Matthew Fisher got a 6, giving "nothing less than 100%," grafting a determined half-century and sticking to his plans with the ball. Even Joe Root, despite a "miserable return to captaincy," became only the second player ever to reach 14,000 Test runs, with 77 in the second innings. They held "faint hope" while he was at the crease, which tells you everything about the rest of the squad. On the New Zealand side, Henry Nicholls was an absolute beast, getting an 8 out of 10. Stepping into Kane Williamson's shoes, his first Test century in England was a crucial factor in their victory. Daryl Mitchell earned a reputation as New Zealand's go-to man in a crisis and showed composure to weaken England's. So, what's next? The decider at Trent Bridge, that's what! This England side needs to figure it out fast after getting absolutely rocked. Can they bounce back? I'm not gonna lie, I'm already hyped for that decider. This team needs to show up, or it's gonna be a long summer, folks. Let's hope for a better game!

This article was created with AI assistance and reviewed by Seattle On Tap editorial staff. Always verify information with official team sources.