Tom Dundon's "El Cheapo" Nickname Just Got Way More Literal, and Blazers Fans Are Done

Remember Tom Dundon, the Portland Blazers owner who earned the nickname "El Cheapo"? Well, he's not just leaning into it anymore. He's full-on embracing it. According to reporting, Dundon is actively trying to lowball coaching candidates to convince them to leave college or their current jobs for Portland. The catch? He wants to hire the lowest-paid head coach in the entire NBA.

And yeah, this is the same guy whose team just made the playoffs with Tiago Splitter as interim coach. Looks like that arrangement is sticking around.

You Can't Actually Admit This Out Loud

Here's the thing about being cheap in professional sports: you can do it, but you have to have the decency not to announce it. If you're going to go cheap on coaching, you hire somebody and load up their contract with bonuses and performance incentives. You make it look like you're not the guy who refuses late checkout for your team. You fake it a little. But Dundon apparently decided to just say the quiet part out loud and pursue the lowest-paid head coach in the league. That's not budget management. That's a statement.

What Blazers Fans Actually Deserve Right Now

Portland fans have already been through it. They watched the JailBlazers documentary and relived all that pain. They saw Brandon Roy and Greg Oden get derailed by injuries. They had Damian Lillard. And just when they got something to be excited about again with a playoff run, they find out their owner is literally shopping for the cheapest coach money can buy. That's brutal timing.

If Dundon is going to commit to being this frugal, just go all the way: let the fans decide everything. Voting machines in the seats. Fans pick the starting lineup, decide the substitutions, challenge calls, call timeouts, pick plays in real time. Lean fully into the chaos. That might actually win people over.

Or, here's a wild idea: just give Splitter a little more money and keep rolling with what got you to the playoffs. But that's probably too expensive.

This article was created with AI assistance and reviewed by Seattle On Tap editorial staff. Always verify information with official team sources.